Safe Sex & the Polyamour
Let’s talk about sex. It’s a wonderful, amazing, fascinating topic, and a part of human nature; in fact, sustaining our very existence as a species on this planet through procreation. But more importantly, it’s just a whole lot of fun! One of the benefits of being polyamorous is that by having loving relationships with multiple people, one generally gets to have sex with multiple people, as well.
However, once again, multiple partners mean more complications and potential problems, in addition to the added pleasures. Responsibility is a must. As with any sexual relationship, simple precautions and communication are necessary.
Every year, more than 12 million cases of STDs [Sexually Transmitted Diseases] are reported in the US (coolnurse.com). AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome), Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Herpes, Hepatitis, and Syphilis are just some of the STDs that are common. Some are curable, some are not, and some (if untreated) can lead to an early death. But, almost all are preventable by either abstinence or the consistent use of latex condoms.
The more sexual partners you have in your lifetime, the more likely you are to contract an STD. It’s that simple. By engaging in sex with multiple partners who also have multiple partners, you are expanding your risks exponentially.
The short answer is to always use a condom. Whether it’s a one night stand or someone you see on a regular basis, wearing protection will help keep anything from transferring from one to the other.
A condom, however, will only help with vaginal and anal sex, and oral sex on a man. For protection when giving oral sex to a woman, the use of a dental dam will offer the same protection. HSV-1 (Oral Herpes) can be transmitted through vaginal and anal oral sex. And HSV-1 or HSV-2 (Genital Herpes) is still transferable when there are no outbreaks.
Even if you always wear protection, get tested for everything on a regular basis. And if you have any unusual symptoms, such as burning, itching, smelly discharge, etc., then call your doctor right away. No STD should go untreated.
Fluid bonding is the practice of making some sort of commitment to a partner and engaging in unprotected sex. Many primary and married couples are fluid bonded and wear protection with all outside parties. Different arrangements can be made within groups, but communication is a must. If you choose to have unprotected sex with more than one person, they all need to be aware of this beforehand. Regular testing is especially important with multiple unprotected partners, because the likelihood of contracting an STD will increase dramatically, even if all partners are using protection with outside individuals.
Sit down with your partners on a regular basis and talk about what measures you and they are taking to prevent STDs. Keep protection, testing and results a topic of open discussion. Get vaccinated for Hepatitis. Get educated on the preliminary symptoms of the various STDs, and see your doctor at the first sign of anything.
If a new partner shares with you that they have an STD, please be kind. It can’t be easy to admit that they have a disease of any kind; especially one that was most likely contracted through sex with another person, and could potentially be contracted to you. It’s just another way to be rejected by a potential mate, and special consideration needs to be made. Above all, realize that this is probably a very difficult subject for them to discuss and let them know how grateful you are that they shared. If you choose not to have sex, that is a decision that your partner will have to understand…but tread gently.
If you already have an STD, then be sure to have that conversation with a new partner long before sex and/or potentially risky sexual play happens. Come to the discussion prepared with information to educate your new partner, answer any questions they may have, and be understanding if they are unable to deal with it, or need time to make a decision as to whether or not to engage in sexual activity with you.
But don’t be afraid to share. If someone loves you and wants to be in your life, chances are, they will be willing to work around an STD. If not, then it’s better that you don’t have a relationship built on false pretenses. Being open, honest and in communication with all your partners is necessary to having happy, healthy relationships.
However, once again, multiple partners mean more complications and potential problems, in addition to the added pleasures. Responsibility is a must. As with any sexual relationship, simple precautions and communication are necessary.
Every year, more than 12 million cases of STDs [Sexually Transmitted Diseases] are reported in the US (coolnurse.com). AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome), Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Herpes, Hepatitis, and Syphilis are just some of the STDs that are common. Some are curable, some are not, and some (if untreated) can lead to an early death. But, almost all are preventable by either abstinence or the consistent use of latex condoms.
The more sexual partners you have in your lifetime, the more likely you are to contract an STD. It’s that simple. By engaging in sex with multiple partners who also have multiple partners, you are expanding your risks exponentially.
The short answer is to always use a condom. Whether it’s a one night stand or someone you see on a regular basis, wearing protection will help keep anything from transferring from one to the other.
A condom, however, will only help with vaginal and anal sex, and oral sex on a man. For protection when giving oral sex to a woman, the use of a dental dam will offer the same protection. HSV-1 (Oral Herpes) can be transmitted through vaginal and anal oral sex. And HSV-1 or HSV-2 (Genital Herpes) is still transferable when there are no outbreaks.
Even if you always wear protection, get tested for everything on a regular basis. And if you have any unusual symptoms, such as burning, itching, smelly discharge, etc., then call your doctor right away. No STD should go untreated.
Fluid bonding is the practice of making some sort of commitment to a partner and engaging in unprotected sex. Many primary and married couples are fluid bonded and wear protection with all outside parties. Different arrangements can be made within groups, but communication is a must. If you choose to have unprotected sex with more than one person, they all need to be aware of this beforehand. Regular testing is especially important with multiple unprotected partners, because the likelihood of contracting an STD will increase dramatically, even if all partners are using protection with outside individuals.
Sit down with your partners on a regular basis and talk about what measures you and they are taking to prevent STDs. Keep protection, testing and results a topic of open discussion. Get vaccinated for Hepatitis. Get educated on the preliminary symptoms of the various STDs, and see your doctor at the first sign of anything.
If a new partner shares with you that they have an STD, please be kind. It can’t be easy to admit that they have a disease of any kind; especially one that was most likely contracted through sex with another person, and could potentially be contracted to you. It’s just another way to be rejected by a potential mate, and special consideration needs to be made. Above all, realize that this is probably a very difficult subject for them to discuss and let them know how grateful you are that they shared. If you choose not to have sex, that is a decision that your partner will have to understand…but tread gently.
If you already have an STD, then be sure to have that conversation with a new partner long before sex and/or potentially risky sexual play happens. Come to the discussion prepared with information to educate your new partner, answer any questions they may have, and be understanding if they are unable to deal with it, or need time to make a decision as to whether or not to engage in sexual activity with you.
But don’t be afraid to share. If someone loves you and wants to be in your life, chances are, they will be willing to work around an STD. If not, then it’s better that you don’t have a relationship built on false pretenses. Being open, honest and in communication with all your partners is necessary to having happy, healthy relationships.
posted by Ms. Scarlett at 9:36 PM
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